Dear Strong Girls,
I felt compelled to write into your blog. I want to make a difference. I loved your Bible Studies on P.S I Love Me! and The Meaning of Courage. After reading both articles, I went to the About page and really could relate to Tamara David when she said, ”I have gone through a lot but not as much as some.” God Bless you for wanting to help women become strong with the help of Jesus!
You inspired me, and I hope to make a difference even to one woman who may read my testimonial.
The reason these two articles hit home with me is I was in an emotionally abusive marriage for 12 years with four children. Before I got married, I was a flight attendant and loved my job. I remember being full of confidence. I met my husband on one of my flights. Before we got married, he lavished me with gifts and compliments! When we got married, I continued working and thought I had the perfect husband and perfect life. However, after our first child was born, I decided to focus on being a stay at home mom. That is when the emotional abuse started. I could never do anything right. My ex-husband never complimented me on anything I did. He was good at making me feel small and stupid. He enjoyed belittling me every day. The more he told me these things, the more I started to believe it. I said nothing to my family or friends.
One morning we woke up to a foot of water in our house. There was water all through the kitchen and family room from a broken pipe under the kitchen sink. I was lifting heavy wet rugs, furniture, and toys out of the water into the garage with the kids crying. My ex-husband did nothing to help me but get ready for work. I remember he came into the kitchen and asked why I had not made him coffee and cereal! He told me I did a lousy job being a wife and mother, and that was why the pipe broke! He walked out the door and left me to deal with the flood and mess. I sat feeling worthless in the water and cried. The kids thought I was crying over the broken pipe form the flood. I think that was one of my low points in my life. I wanted to leave, but with four kids, I felt like I could not.
He started coming home later and later. He always locked his phone in the car when he would come home. One night he came home late and drunk. When he went to bed, I found his keys. I went out to his car, and to my horror, he had many missed calls and texts from other women. I had suspected this, but I never wanted to believe it until that night when I saw it. I went into the house, and instead of taking the kids and running, I made him leave. I felt frightened and relieved all at once.
My main focus was on the kids. They were doing better than expected as long as they thought I was okay. I put on a good front because, on the inside, I felt beaten down to nothing. It took a long time for me to become strong again. I started reading the Bible and going to church. It wasn’t until I was born again that I began to get stronger and have confidence once again. God guided me through. I came out of an abusive marriage, and I joyfully got my confidence back. God taught me to love myself again. Strong Girls DO Pray!
My prayer is if someone reading this is in an abusive relationship, do not stay in it! Find a way to get out and do not hang on as I did.
You have done nothing wrong, and you are not worthless! God will see to it if you pray and ask Him to restore you and strengthen your soul to live happily and blessed once more!
Blessing to Strong Girls who Pray!